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Putting the "Metal" into "Mental"
Jan. 26th, 2006 11:40 pmI tend to piece together ideas for longer LJ posts in my head a couple of days before I actually get around to writing them. When I drew up that band diagram a week ago, seeing the large amount of overtheatrical silliness on the Metal Archive gave me the idea for a "Top 5 Ridiculous Power Metal Bands" sort of thing, something that I didn't think would be difficult to write due to the clear abundance of subject matter.
I've been forced to abandon this idea, however, because Lost Horizon deserve at least all five of the places. Clearly inspired by the Highlander story, the site appears passable at first glance (the "No Fate, Only the Power of Will" header and slightly AOL-like flame graphic notwithstanding) but becomes gradually more insane the more you look through it.
Take the Members page (or Warriors, as they choose to call themselves). The bassist - sorry, "Orchestrator Of Thunder & Seismic Harmonizing" - is known as Cosmic Antagonist, and his real name, included on the page as largely an afterthought for us lesser mortals, is described as simply his "Earthshape". The whole thing would be agonisingly pretentious if it wasn't so hilarious.
The biography page describes the history of the band as you'd expect, but reads like the plot for an episode of Masters of the Universe. Elsewhere, the band describes the message that it's trying to convey. Surprisingly, I agree with some of the sentiments under "True Metal", but the rest of it goes on about the Force and might as well have been written by Obi-Wan Kenobi. The whole site's a classic example of overdoing things.
Still not convinced? Look at this album cover and one of the wallpapers. I don't think I need to add anything here.
The trouble is that when I pointed all this lunacy out to Whitney, she said that she didn't see a difference between them and all the other bands that I listen to. Perhaps the problem is worse than I thought.
I've been forced to abandon this idea, however, because Lost Horizon deserve at least all five of the places. Clearly inspired by the Highlander story, the site appears passable at first glance (the "No Fate, Only the Power of Will" header and slightly AOL-like flame graphic notwithstanding) but becomes gradually more insane the more you look through it.
Take the Members page (or Warriors, as they choose to call themselves). The bassist - sorry, "Orchestrator Of Thunder & Seismic Harmonizing" - is known as Cosmic Antagonist, and his real name, included on the page as largely an afterthought for us lesser mortals, is described as simply his "Earthshape". The whole thing would be agonisingly pretentious if it wasn't so hilarious.
The biography page describes the history of the band as you'd expect, but reads like the plot for an episode of Masters of the Universe. Elsewhere, the band describes the message that it's trying to convey. Surprisingly, I agree with some of the sentiments under "True Metal", but the rest of it goes on about the Force and might as well have been written by Obi-Wan Kenobi. The whole site's a classic example of overdoing things.
Still not convinced? Look at this album cover and one of the wallpapers. I don't think I need to add anything here.
The trouble is that when I pointed all this lunacy out to Whitney, she said that she didn't see a difference between them and all the other bands that I listen to. Perhaps the problem is worse than I thought.
