This will never end

Five years and four months into my life in America, I have today been told that they never had the saying that watching too much television gives you square eyes. These new discoveries always happen unexpectedly in the middle of conversations and I only realize the problem when I see the facial reaction that betrays exactly how insane I sound and what distance the other person now wants to get away from me. I'm beginning to feel that the entire country is some sort of elaborate plot designed to get me confined to a mental institution.

I Googled it, and it volunteered that judging by the URL, they even have a clinic specially designed to deal with the condition at one of the nearby universities. No, of course they don't - all you get if you watch too much television in America is a growing sense of resentment.