Aah! I can cook!

"It'll just be soup and sandwiches tomorrow." Those were my employer's words to me while putting me down in the rota to replace her in the kitchen today. Of course, as a result most people who came in ordered all-day breakfasts or chicken fillets, neither of which I had ever cooked before. To my slight astonishment, just about everyone who I served commented that it was "delicious" (rather than keeling over or turning green, or both). It appears that somehow I have learned how to cook.

On my way back from the clubhouse I noticed a large sign that someone had put up next to the carelessly-placed roundabout. It appears there is to be a "soul picnic" later in the week. I don't know what that is - I just got an image of faceless, black-cloaked apparitions sitting on red and white checkered rugs, devouring souls with plastic cutlery.

There was another birthday in the house recently - that of my driving licence. Yes, it was two years old yesterday, meaning that I'm no longer classed as a "new" driver and I can't show P-plates on my car any more. Not that I did anyway, I think mine lasted about two weeks before I get fed up of them.

I nearly ran someone over that night, though - on my way back from Aberdeen a group of neds was walking through Port Elphinstone (it isn't even a real town, anyway) and one of them stepped out in to the road, faced me and stood in front of my car as it came towards him. Unfortunately I decided that I couldn't be bothered with him and just kept going in his direction, making him dive out of the way as he realised I wasn't going to slow down. It was very satisfying, but on reflection it would have been rather sad to run someone over on the last day before the threat of being booted back to learner status was removed.