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If you want to file electronically for state, federal, neither or both tax returns, check these boxes and click "Continue". If you paid state and local income taxes in 2006 for a prior year (such as taxes paid in 2006 as a balance due on your 2005 state income tax return), include this amount as other state and local income taxes paid. If this total is over $1,500, you cannot use Form 1040EZ. Do not include the state or local taxes withheld on your W-2(s), W-2G(s), and 1099(s). There are no qualifying dependents on the return and the ages of the taxpayer and spouse (if applicable) do not qualify for the EIC. If line 11 is larger than line 10, subtract line 10 from line 11. If it isn't, add lines 7, 8 and 9 and multiply them by your undeclared federal tax deductions from last year. If you are the head of household and have other dependents (not including those that are filing separately or previously mentioned on this form), multiply the number by $1,000 and include it on Form 1-NR/PY. Do not complete this step if you have two or more incomes and more than one checking account, or you live next to a river and your bank manager is called Steve. Print and sign this form, but do not send it to the IRS or you may be subject to a penalty of up to $0. If you want to reduce this penalty, click here to review the information regarding the withholdings from your income for the current year. If you would like to pay tax at the increased rate of 5.83%, check this box. Print a copy of your federal tax return. Print a copy of your state tax return. Review these documents and click here. Print a copy of the e-file instructions. Got any ink left? Print a copy of the final e-file instructions. Enter your PIN here and the amount for your previous year tax return over there, and we'll check one or the other and decide if they match. You will receive one or both status updates within 24 or 72 hours. That'll be $12.75, please.

I'm more than happy to pay $12.75 to an online tax helper, because I cannot think how any human in the world could work out the meaning of those forms without aid from Stephen Hawking. Electronically, you're just asked a lot of incomprehensible questions one at a time and happily click past them until it tells you that there's a huge problem. It's even worse than trying to do a Logic and Arithmetic course written backwards in Japanese.