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[davidn]

What?! TV Tropes is dangerous enough as it is normally, but on one of my accidental age-long depth first searches, I stumbled onto the Purity Sue page - which, for anyone blissfully unaware of fanfiction terminology like I was until recently, is a collection of irritatingly unbelievable flawless and innocent characters. And it was this entry that caught several of my eyes.

Thomas The Tank Engine example: Fan character Iolite, who was a human (named Elizabeth Truit, after her creator), died an untimely death and was reincarnated because of it, and was assigned the job of "Guardian of the Island of Sodor". She can switch between human and engine forms, has angel wings in both, can fly, has romantic affairs with Oliver and Douglas, and has powers beyond those possessed by Lady (the Island's canon guardian angel).

She... what?! (I can't convey my reactions to this in text. Imagine Bernard Black doing his taxes and you'll just about have the idea.) All right. People write self-insertion fanfiction about Thomas the Tank Engine. Let's assume for the moment that I can cope with that. No, forget that - I can't. What? You can't just drop that into a topic and expect people to continue to function. There's... she... Oliver and Douglas! Guardian of the... and you apply shapeshifting, reincarnation and Final Fantasy angel wings into your flying, plasma-firing steam train? To Thomas the Tank Engine. This is it - I'd survived the Internet until now, I'd observed and navigated through all of its horrors, no doubt accidentally started a couple of them myself, had the innocence of everything I grew up with thoroughly shattered, and finally the beast has found the key to destroying my mind.

Update: AAAAAAH

Comments

[kjorteo]

I refuse to believe this is real.

It probably is, but that won't stop me from refusing to believe it.

[silvertarna.livejournal.com]

Oh, fandom. I've seen so many Transformers Sues that I suppose Thomas-Sues are only a short step away, but that is MAD.

[ethelfleda.livejournal.com]

I thought I had seen most of the depths that famdom could sink to, but Thomas-Sue is a new one on me.

[lupineangel.livejournal.com]

Maybe it all makes perfect sense. After all, someone has to protect the Fat Controller from this guy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4VjvBaMHJg

:P

D.F.

[davidn]

I'd forgotten about him! That was the first Final Fantasy game I completed - I went through it again a couple of years ago but couldn't remember how to get Doomtrain (I do know it was something utterly obscure like using a certain object in a certain location while you had 6 Remedies and 14 walnuts in your inventory). They went fairly mad with the summons in that one, what with that and Pandemona the giant blue anthropomorphic vaccuum cleaner.

[lupineangel.livejournal.com]

Yeah, you have to get the Solomon Ring from the Lunatic Pandora, then run around finding 6 Steel Pipes (fairly easy), 6 Malboro Tentacles (steal them from Malboros, easy) and 6 Remedy+ (this is the hard one, as you can only get them assuming you learned Alexander's MedLVLUP ability, which is all but utterly useless otherwise). Quite how you were ever gonna work that one out on your own is a complete mystery.

Still, Pandemona aside, I think the award for oddest summon has to go to King Tonberry, whose claim to utility is that he opens a shop for you. Also, DOINK. :P

D.F.

[e-to-the-ipi.livejournal.com]

TV tropes is brilliant, if deadly for those of us trying to work.

And this made me apply rule 32 to something else horrible, which I've since forgotten.

[kjorteo]

Idea: Iolite icon for Angel Eye.

[davidn]

Certainly an appropriate character! In fact I did paste sections of the character's description into the song notes, though I'm not sure how much eventually made it in.

Though I try to avoid anything... undeniably identifiable, and I'm hoping to eventually get organized and try and go for that mock 'single cover' idea for the song that I mentioned to you earlier. Which I hope to get together, because I think it'll be quite fun to do.

She... What?

[tamakun.livejournal.com]

Locomotive... alter-ego... *brain cracks under the strain*

I've seen some alter-egos and typically they stay breathing...