Where to hide a bomb
Oct. 22nd, 2009 07:24 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
davidnWonderful and unusual news - I had a dream that wasn't terrible last night. If you can discount the way that I was apparently working with the Nazis for a minute, but still.
The dream opened in an empty high street shop with two sofas forming a seating area at the front - think of a strangely comfortable dentist's reception. I was in a group of three people who were quietly sneaking inside, led by Herr Flick (I imagine that like a lot of British series, the description will make no sense unless you already know where he's from anyway). The other one besides me might have been Von Smallhausen, I'm not sure. Quickly, we moved to the back of the room behind the counter, where there was a safe set into the wall.
Herr Flick opened the safe, which apparently contained secret documents important to the French resistance, and attached a bomb and timer device to the inside of the door, then closed it again and we retreated. (Yes, I know - quite why we needed to blow open a safe that we already had access to was never made clear in the dream). For some reason the timer was displayed on an LED counter on the front of the safe - it had been set to explode at 1 o'clock, so we waited until then, but nothing seemed to happen.
As the others went back to the bomb to check it, I went outside and wandered up and down the street - I noticed that there was a lot of interference on all the televisions in the window of an electronics shop on the corner, and realized that we must have been using a silent electomagnetic pulse bomb by mistake. (They must have been the secret Gestapo variety.) Before I could go to tell the others, a couple arrived - the only other people on the high street - and looked around confusedly.
"Are you here about the interference with the... Rhondium crystals?" I asked. Somehow they understood what I meant, and offered to help them look for the source of the disturbance, leading them to anywhere that looked likely and wasn't the place we were hiding, in order to stall them from discovering our nefarious scheme. Eventually, the abandoned dentist place was the only shop that we hadn't been into, and I walked the couple up to the whitewashed door with me at the front of the group. Carefully, I opened it, hoping that the others had seen us wandering around outside, realized what I was doing, and that I'd given them enough time to hide the evidence that we were up to no good.
I walked a few steps into the room as the others came in behind me. Inside was a picture of artificial innocence - the two of them were sitting nonchalantly opposite each other on the sofas, feet up on the table and reading magazines that they'd found on its bottom shelf. I began to wonder where they'd managed to hide the bomb, when my eyes were drawn to what else was on the coffee table.
They had hidden the bomb inside a potato, with a smiley face drawn on the front with a Biro in what I can only assume was an attempt to make it look more friendly and innocent. After a quick look around the room from the entrance, my two companions decided there was nothing suspicious at all in the room and that they had better leave.
"Nice potato," one of them commented on his way out. And they both walked off down the street, leaving us to continue in our attempts to obtain whatever secrets we were stealing from the French resistance - except by this time I was laughing so much in my sleep that I'd woken myself and Whitney up.
The dream opened in an empty high street shop with two sofas forming a seating area at the front - think of a strangely comfortable dentist's reception. I was in a group of three people who were quietly sneaking inside, led by Herr Flick (I imagine that like a lot of British series, the description will make no sense unless you already know where he's from anyway). The other one besides me might have been Von Smallhausen, I'm not sure. Quickly, we moved to the back of the room behind the counter, where there was a safe set into the wall.
Herr Flick opened the safe, which apparently contained secret documents important to the French resistance, and attached a bomb and timer device to the inside of the door, then closed it again and we retreated. (Yes, I know - quite why we needed to blow open a safe that we already had access to was never made clear in the dream). For some reason the timer was displayed on an LED counter on the front of the safe - it had been set to explode at 1 o'clock, so we waited until then, but nothing seemed to happen.
As the others went back to the bomb to check it, I went outside and wandered up and down the street - I noticed that there was a lot of interference on all the televisions in the window of an electronics shop on the corner, and realized that we must have been using a silent electomagnetic pulse bomb by mistake. (They must have been the secret Gestapo variety.) Before I could go to tell the others, a couple arrived - the only other people on the high street - and looked around confusedly.
"Are you here about the interference with the... Rhondium crystals?" I asked. Somehow they understood what I meant, and offered to help them look for the source of the disturbance, leading them to anywhere that looked likely and wasn't the place we were hiding, in order to stall them from discovering our nefarious scheme. Eventually, the abandoned dentist place was the only shop that we hadn't been into, and I walked the couple up to the whitewashed door with me at the front of the group. Carefully, I opened it, hoping that the others had seen us wandering around outside, realized what I was doing, and that I'd given them enough time to hide the evidence that we were up to no good.
I walked a few steps into the room as the others came in behind me. Inside was a picture of artificial innocence - the two of them were sitting nonchalantly opposite each other on the sofas, feet up on the table and reading magazines that they'd found on its bottom shelf. I began to wonder where they'd managed to hide the bomb, when my eyes were drawn to what else was on the coffee table.
They had hidden the bomb inside a potato, with a smiley face drawn on the front with a Biro in what I can only assume was an attempt to make it look more friendly and innocent. After a quick look around the room from the entrance, my two companions decided there was nothing suspicious at all in the room and that they had better leave.
"Nice potato," one of them commented on his way out. And they both walked off down the street, leaving us to continue in our attempts to obtain whatever secrets we were stealing from the French resistance - except by this time I was laughing so much in my sleep that I'd woken myself and Whitney up.
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no subject
Date: 2009-10-22 02:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-22 02:47 pm (UTC)Maybe as the nights draw in, your subconscious is nostalgic for the autumnal Aberdeenshire pastime of putting fireworks in other people's neepy lanterns.
And with that I will leave many of your readers deeply confused about what a neepy lantern actually is, because you could read many, many layers of innuendo into that statement.
no subject
Date: 2009-10-22 02:59 pm (UTC)Like many things about the country, I prefer to leave things like that a mystery until people get up the curiosity to ask :)
no subject
Date: 2009-10-23 03:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-23 03:21 pm (UTC)The tradition is to go around people's houses for them to put money instead of sweets into the lantern, but I never did that, and I certainly didn't drop fireworks into anyone else's either! We did once napalm a neighbour's flowerbed with a firework, but that was by accident.
no subject
Date: 2009-10-25 12:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-25 01:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-22 09:48 pm (UTC)Also, after the Spud Gun, it was only a matter of time before the King of the Potato People decided he needed to upgrade his arsenal. Drawing faces on his weaponry is a new one, though - perhaps he's been taking lessons from King Koopa? :P
D.F.
no subject
Date: 2009-10-23 03:23 pm (UTC)