The... I... but... I don't have some sort of fruit superiority complex in an attempt to compensate for the obliteration of my last shreds of masculinity! You can see bananas there in the background, and they're not some exotic kind that can spontaneously sharpen themselves and fling themselves across the room at you. This one was probably the most hazardous of the fruits that I've tried, but I hadn't realized this until I noticed how much my hands hurt after picking them up for the first time - I thought I had got a splinter from a shelf, until I realized that they were all over my palms. Even with food that doesn't fight back when anybody else prepares them, every visit to the kitchen is a battle anyway.

I now have an image of one basket that nobody notices in that market, upside-down on the ceiling with a "Delicious Fruit" label.