I have Excel, and I'm not afraid to use it.

[davidn]

Remember those golfers that I mentioned in the previous entry? Well, I'm about to mention them again, starting with the way that I just have. Apparently, dinner was even more awkward than lunch.

To start off with, one of them rather upset my employer by coming in and informing her "Don't worry about dinner for the one who was hit by a golf ball - he's dead." It later emerged that this had been an attempt at being funny. After behaving much like the people on my corridor would during the meal, a different one asked the school-age waitress if she would give him a massage. When she looked shocked, he laughed and continued, "Don't worry. I just wanted to see if you were in to kinky sex." So now he's being reported for sexual harrassment. Who's got the last laugh now? Well, not me because I wasn't at work at that time, but I thought it sounded triumphant nonetheless.

That's all that happened today - I will fill up the rest of the entry space with this overcrowded and indecipherable graph. It's a record of the number of downloads of my songs (on Modplug alone). I update it once a fortnight, give or take a day.

Comments

[plette.livejournal.com]

Impressive. And I see what you mean about the songs with 'Guardians' in the title doing very well.

You should try the Modern Talking technique of randomness, and just string a bunch of completely unrelated phrases into your lyrics. Then you could surely work the word 'guardians' into every song, and short-lived fame in Germany is sure to follow.

[davidn]

I've noticed that Gamma Ray do that as well - most of their lyrics make sense, but there's the occasional out of place phrase seemingly just to fill up a few syllables or make it rhyme.

That's an idea... but it might mean having to have Dieter Bohlen's mullet. I'll think about it.

[raphx.livejournal.com]

People must have gotten really bored with The H Guardian for it to go from 1000 to 0 in one day.

re: golfers

[stubbleupdate.livejournal.com]

at the R&A 250th, most of my female colleagues were sexually ahrrassed by drunk old buffers while serving. one had her bum pinched four times throughout her stint, but ended up leaving it to the guy's wife to sort out (yes, he groped a student in front of his wife) and another had to count to ten before "spilling" tea over some persistent old soak.

no tips either. bastards