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Strange world
Dec. 9th, 2011 09:18 pmI had one of my oddest experiences in recent memory today - just the combination of a lot of things in quick succession. I had been particularly proud of something at work, a task involving HTTP authentication that I thought would be a huge pain but that I'd managed to solve that morning (a great reminder of why I enjoy the work I do), so I went for a walk in the afternoon and went into the Dunkin Donuts - a place that I rarely venture even though there's one on every street corner here, mostly because if I allowed myself to become fully aware of its availability I would be wider than I am tall before too long.
As I came in the first door of the sort of airlock arrangement, I saw two young women approaching from inside, and pulled the inner door open for them, stepping out of the way to give them and their massive trays of coffee enough room to get out. The first thing I heard out of the leading girl's mouth as she passed was "That was, like, so unnecessary" - and I promise that this is not me editorializing to draw attention to the extraordinarily irritating way in which Americans talk, those were the exact words she said. To her credit, I think - though I'm not entirely sure - that she was talking to her friend, the tail end of a conversation that I'd missed, rather than talking about me holding the door. I hope so.
Anyway, after I'd punched her in the kidneys I continued into the building. The next thing to happen was one that's rather difficult to replicate in text form, but I'll do my best - I had only just approached the counter when the man behind it addressed me with the greeting "Hey! [At this point attempt to imagine a large man with dreadlocks doing a sort of Revolver Ocelot twirling display with his hands, ending with them both pointing at me] Nice coat!" The compliment was appreciated, but I was just a little taken aback by how flamboyantly he had announced it.
Then, after I'd selected a couple of toroidal confectioneries, the woman who had been picking them out stabbed at the till and announced an insignificant sum of something like $1.34 to me. I looked in my wallet and only had a $20, so I took it out and asked her "Is a twenty okay?" in a sort of half-apology. That's what you do, isn't it, when you've got a comically large denomination compared to the price you're going to pay and are therefore robbing their cash register of a vast amount of their change? Well, she didn't seem to think so - she burst out laughing.
When I was away in Internet-land during October, people expressed sincere doubt that I had ever been in a McDonald's or more generally any sort of fast food place. Today I sort of understood why, as this is the most alien I've felt for a very long time.
As I came in the first door of the sort of airlock arrangement, I saw two young women approaching from inside, and pulled the inner door open for them, stepping out of the way to give them and their massive trays of coffee enough room to get out. The first thing I heard out of the leading girl's mouth as she passed was "That was, like, so unnecessary" - and I promise that this is not me editorializing to draw attention to the extraordinarily irritating way in which Americans talk, those were the exact words she said. To her credit, I think - though I'm not entirely sure - that she was talking to her friend, the tail end of a conversation that I'd missed, rather than talking about me holding the door. I hope so.
Anyway, after I'd punched her in the kidneys I continued into the building. The next thing to happen was one that's rather difficult to replicate in text form, but I'll do my best - I had only just approached the counter when the man behind it addressed me with the greeting "Hey! [At this point attempt to imagine a large man with dreadlocks doing a sort of Revolver Ocelot twirling display with his hands, ending with them both pointing at me] Nice coat!" The compliment was appreciated, but I was just a little taken aback by how flamboyantly he had announced it.
Then, after I'd selected a couple of toroidal confectioneries, the woman who had been picking them out stabbed at the till and announced an insignificant sum of something like $1.34 to me. I looked in my wallet and only had a $20, so I took it out and asked her "Is a twenty okay?" in a sort of half-apology. That's what you do, isn't it, when you've got a comically large denomination compared to the price you're going to pay and are therefore robbing their cash register of a vast amount of their change? Well, she didn't seem to think so - she burst out laughing.
When I was away in Internet-land during October, people expressed sincere doubt that I had ever been in a McDonald's or more generally any sort of fast food place. Today I sort of understood why, as this is the most alien I've felt for a very long time.
