Wall

I've just looked through a heap of photos that I had kept on my phone for years - this is the wall of my childhood bedroom, as it was when I visited my parents' house for a night in 2012.

Three certificates on the right - I can't actually remember what these were for, possibly some sort of yearly entry into a mathematics challenge when I was in the academy.

Talent contest poster - I think that this was from an appearance at the town hall with the school's fiddle band, now called Celtacad and apparently still going strong and still meeting in the same school room.

Reign of Fire poster - I've never even heard of the film otherwise, I can't remember why I even put this up. I think I got it as a pull-out in a magazine and it was something to put up in a blank bit of wall.

Committee work certificate - This was for participating in committees during sixth year of academy, the final year of school in Scotland (and it's just as well I did, because I exploited some loopholes and ended up with nine hours of class a week, the first of which was last thing on a Tuesday). I participated in something called Young Enterprise, where we were meant to come up with some sort of entrepreneurial idea and market it - our group bought up wine glasses, coloured them and sold them at a markup, and I dropped out before the end due to its pointlessness - and instead concentrated on the yearbook and dedicated a page to complaining about how nobody else in the committee contributed to the editing process.

Know Your Road Signs - 'Alternative' interpretations of American road signs ("Decontamination center ahead" = "You are now leaving New Jersey", etc). I think someone got this for me while I was taking driving lessons.

Metal Gear Solid poster - The absolute pride of this collection, acquired in the limited edition box set, which also contained a key tag, soundtrack, T-shirt (I wonder where that's got to?) and the game itself. On the back, it has a Yoji Shinkawa illustration of Meryl instead.

Tickets and wristbands - From the Download festival at Donington in 2003, where I saw Iron Maiden for the first time along with several much more irritating bands. It was worth it, but when lying in my tent during the first night I couldn't help remembering that I had a nice mattress at home.

Swimming certificate - A piece of paper verifying that I am able to swim an entire five metres. I'm pretty sure that if you fell into the water and died you would float that distance before I could swim it, but it remains the highest swimming accolade I have ever received.