Hot Pockets, correct consumption thereof
Jan. 25th, 2011 09:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
davidnI have something here called a Hot Pockets, or possibly a Hot Pocket if it adopts a singular noun. As it's been more than demonstrated by this point that I am not meant to cook for myself, on the occasions when Whitney is away during the evening I now base my own dinners around America's ample and diverse supply of instant meals, and this pizza... thing is the latest in my line of experimentation.
In the box, you're given a pair of strange pop-up sleeve things, along with the two expected frozen brick-like lumps and two separate sets of instructions on how to prepare them. I chose the oven method rather than the microwave, because even though I'm resorting to things like this I've got to at least grant myself the illusion of some decorum, and I considered that even I could handle leaving it in a hot place for twenty minutes and that there was little to no chance of seriously injuring myself. Indeed, this is the entirety of the preparation - you just need the wits to separate the bit that's edible from the bit that's not, small as the distinction might seem.
The sleeve that I mentioned is for holding the "sandwich" (I have no idea what to call it, it defies classification), in a further health and safety measure for people who don't realize that ovens are hot. It instructs "This side up", and I wasn't sure whether it meant the flat side or the curvy side of the cooked article, but I chose not to worry about it because sandwich orientation has never been among my priorities. On the reverse, the sleeve also proclaims - and I am copying this directly from what's in front of me - "Might as well have a free hand to text while you're eating". I mean, crude as these comments are, do Americans even have to wonder why they're the subject of so much obesity-based ridicule throughout the world? They practically write this themselves.
Still, once you have slipped the nondescript un-sandwich into the pocket in accordance with its instructions, you can have at it, and the outer shell is a sort of crumbly pastry that breaks away to reveal an orange tomato and cheese sauce underneath with lumps of pepperoni in it. I suppose it doesn't contradict the description, but as with all instant meals, the disparity between the appearance of the recognizable cheese and tomato product on the box and the orange guddle of reality is not exactly unnoticeable. I was actually surprised because I had expected the outer part to turn out more bread-like, but in fact it's not unlike eating a pastie, with the ingredients of a pizza instead of meat and onions.
Who else would be stupid enough to combine pastry and pizza?
In the box, you're given a pair of strange pop-up sleeve things, along with the two expected frozen brick-like lumps and two separate sets of instructions on how to prepare them. I chose the oven method rather than the microwave, because even though I'm resorting to things like this I've got to at least grant myself the illusion of some decorum, and I considered that even I could handle leaving it in a hot place for twenty minutes and that there was little to no chance of seriously injuring myself. Indeed, this is the entirety of the preparation - you just need the wits to separate the bit that's edible from the bit that's not, small as the distinction might seem.
The sleeve that I mentioned is for holding the "sandwich" (I have no idea what to call it, it defies classification), in a further health and safety measure for people who don't realize that ovens are hot. It instructs "This side up", and I wasn't sure whether it meant the flat side or the curvy side of the cooked article, but I chose not to worry about it because sandwich orientation has never been among my priorities. On the reverse, the sleeve also proclaims - and I am copying this directly from what's in front of me - "Might as well have a free hand to text while you're eating". I mean, crude as these comments are, do Americans even have to wonder why they're the subject of so much obesity-based ridicule throughout the world? They practically write this themselves.
Still, once you have slipped the nondescript un-sandwich into the pocket in accordance with its instructions, you can have at it, and the outer shell is a sort of crumbly pastry that breaks away to reveal an orange tomato and cheese sauce underneath with lumps of pepperoni in it. I suppose it doesn't contradict the description, but as with all instant meals, the disparity between the appearance of the recognizable cheese and tomato product on the box and the orange guddle of reality is not exactly unnoticeable. I was actually surprised because I had expected the outer part to turn out more bread-like, but in fact it's not unlike eating a pastie, with the ingredients of a pizza instead of meat and onions.
Who else would be stupid enough to combine pastry and pizza?
no subject
Date: 2011-01-27 09:06 pm (UTC)That also reminds me that I watched the first episode "10 O'Clock Live" last week, which was a surreal sort of mixture of comedians and actual political issues. It sort of went from good bits to bad bits and back, but if it manages to get younger Brooker/Mitchell fans to care about politics, then I'm all for it.