Even the throat sweets talk down to me

[davidn]

America is all the more different for its very slight differences. If I had moved to any country in Europe, for example, it would be obvious that I wasn't going to find the same comforts that I was used to and would be shopping at the local branch of Krankl. Here, the differences are made slight and subtle, like the mastermind in a Jonathan Creek plot about trying to get someone committed.

I got a packet of Halls Soothers the other day (which, now that I look, seem to just be called Halls here) - unusually, the actual lozenges seem to be pretty much identical to the ones I knew, with the difference being that you get a collection of patronizing little messages on the wrapper.



I was trying to cure a sore throat, not have a motivational carrot from the Big Book of Pointy-Haired Boss Encouragements waved in front of my face every time I reach for one. The one at the bottom demands particular attention - "Turn 'can do' into 'can did'"? Is that a rare earnest attempt at the past-impossible never tense? Isn't the past tense of "can do" "(was able to do and) have done"? Is there any imaginable construction of a sentence in which "can did" makes any sense?

I know that my posts can seem to be about slightly trivial things, but after now spending five and a half years surrounded by this sort of bullshit everything begins to grate on you a little.

Comments

[kibet.livejournal.com]

So what do they call the actual Halls cough sweets (the ones in the black pack that resemble Tunes)?

[shoe--gal.livejournal.com]

I've actually never been able to find these over here.

[davidn]

I've never found the ones I knew either - they've always been in large sachets of 30, rather than the paper "tube".

Tunes, I'd forgotten about those - those were the ones I always got when I was in school.

[davidn]

I found them! Just while waiting in the cafe for a sandwich this lunchtime... on the top shelf of the sweets rack thing, square Halls in menthol or lemon - also just called Halls.