Even the throat sweets talk down to me

[davidn]

America is all the more different for its very slight differences. If I had moved to any country in Europe, for example, it would be obvious that I wasn't going to find the same comforts that I was used to and would be shopping at the local branch of Krankl. Here, the differences are made slight and subtle, like the mastermind in a Jonathan Creek plot about trying to get someone committed.

I got a packet of Halls Soothers the other day (which, now that I look, seem to just be called Halls here) - unusually, the actual lozenges seem to be pretty much identical to the ones I knew, with the difference being that you get a collection of patronizing little messages on the wrapper.



I was trying to cure a sore throat, not have a motivational carrot from the Big Book of Pointy-Haired Boss Encouragements waved in front of my face every time I reach for one. The one at the bottom demands particular attention - "Turn 'can do' into 'can did'"? Is that a rare earnest attempt at the past-impossible never tense? Isn't the past tense of "can do" "(was able to do and) have done"? Is there any imaginable construction of a sentence in which "can did" makes any sense?

I know that my posts can seem to be about slightly trivial things, but after now spending five and a half years surrounded by this sort of bullshit everything begins to grate on you a little.

Comments

[feralmuse.livejournal.com]

Augh, I just finished one of those. The commentary on them made me want to punch everything, especially when I was consuming them on a day where I had to leave work after losing my voice. "Turn that 'can do' into 'sit around in PJs watching My Little Pony all day'"

[xaq.livejournal.com]

You make that sound like it's a bad thing. o_O