Fridge of Death

[davidn]

Whitney's away for a few days and there are going to be some changes around here! I've started by resolving to clean out the fridge - we do this occasionally, but there's always the layer next to the wall at the back beyond the stuff you actually use, where things gradually get pushed and forgotten about and nobody dares to look.

Today, I dared to look. And I found:

• A jar of mould with a small layer of apple sauce at the bottom
• Flaccid vegetables
• A Tupperware container of indistinct horribleness (assumed to have once been fish)
• Extremely overly sour cream
• Sour cream (was unfortunately meant to be just whipped)
• Surprisingly intact jam
• Liquid watermelon
• Cheese dated last month
• Cheese dated last year
• Cheese dated 2011
• Cheese that I'm unsure was meant to be intentionally blue
• The remains of King Louis XIV
• THIS
• Putrefaction
• Decay
• Rot
• Pestilence
• Death
• Tofu
• Various fruit cups (sources unknown)
• Some of those little tubs of liquid from Chinese restaurants (sauces unknown)
• Three jars containing one pickle each
• A lone, sad sausage
• A burning sensation on my fingers after having to handle all of the above

I feel proud of the achievement, but unfortunately the fridge doesn't even look cleaner now because all the stuff that was thrown out was in the depths of despair at the back where you never see it anyway. Perhaps I'll shove a couple of cardboard boxes in there just to keep the fridge space down to an amount that's actually usable.

Next time, the rest of the kitchen.