Fridge of Death

[davidn]

Whitney's away for a few days and there are going to be some changes around here! I've started by resolving to clean out the fridge - we do this occasionally, but there's always the layer next to the wall at the back beyond the stuff you actually use, where things gradually get pushed and forgotten about and nobody dares to look.

Today, I dared to look. And I found:

• A jar of mould with a small layer of apple sauce at the bottom
• Flaccid vegetables
• A Tupperware container of indistinct horribleness (assumed to have once been fish)
• Extremely overly sour cream
• Sour cream (was unfortunately meant to be just whipped)
• Surprisingly intact jam
• Liquid watermelon
• Cheese dated last month
• Cheese dated last year
• Cheese dated 2011
• Cheese that I'm unsure was meant to be intentionally blue
• The remains of King Louis XIV
• THIS
• Putrefaction
• Decay
• Rot
• Pestilence
• Death
• Tofu
• Various fruit cups (sources unknown)
• Some of those little tubs of liquid from Chinese restaurants (sauces unknown)
• Three jars containing one pickle each
• A lone, sad sausage
• A burning sensation on my fingers after having to handle all of the above

I feel proud of the achievement, but unfortunately the fridge doesn't even look cleaner now because all the stuff that was thrown out was in the depths of despair at the back where you never see it anyway. Perhaps I'll shove a couple of cardboard boxes in there just to keep the fridge space down to an amount that's actually usable.

Next time, the rest of the kitchen.

Comments

[premchaia_pre4]

No cleaning gloves?

Your list reminds me of this (spoilers for Don't Starve).

[budgiebin.livejournal.com]

...Oh. That's... not water.

As for the pickles, isn't that always how it is?

[xaq.livejournal.com]

This series of events reminded me of this:

George Carlin - Ice Box Man (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pg3viTvOzhI).

[davidn]

Haha, that is exactly what I'm like :) Keeping the fridge closed, turning off unnecessary lights and electronics on every trip through a room in the house...

[rakarr.livejournal.com]

I'm amazed you haven't gotten sick and died just from having that stuff in the same space as food you eat daily!
I've never really had a problem with stuff buried in the fridge... either the fridge here has greater visibility, or just.. less stuff in it. There's no real "back layer" of forgotten things - maybe it's not as deep as yours?

[davidn]

I would definitely describe our fridge as unnecessarily deep - a better design would be to have it much flatter and wider so that everything in it was always on full display. The stuff we actually use was unaffected because everything in it was sealed individually and was free to rot in its own unique ecosystem.

[kytheraen.livejournal.com]

Cardboard boxes bad. It's moist in fridges. You'll end up with a fur layer at the back with jars pushed into it... urgh.

[davidn]

Okay, so that might be the worst idea I've ever had (apart from the one about making biscuits with mayonnaise because there were no eggs) - but... some plastic barrier, something to just block off the dead zones!

[wolfekko.livejournal.com]

Actually your idea for taking up the mass in the fridge is good, but I recommend doing it with filled water bottles. After they cool, they'll actually help cut down your energy costs by contributing thermal mass to the fridge. I used that method in my current refrigerator, which was running 24/7 (and thankfully will go bye-bye on Thursday, to be replaced with something more efficient), and it actually took a good bit of the load off!

[davidn]

That's brilliant - not only that, but that'll also be the emergency water supply if the reservoir ever gets diverted to a toxic waste dump again. I'll do that.

[wolfekko.livejournal.com]

I can't take full credit for the idea; Farin told me about it awhile back :)

[lupineangel.livejournal.com]

I know you stopped playing 40K-related games a fair time ago, but I'm sure you remember Nurgle, the Chaos God of Decay and Despair, right? Are you sure your fridge isn't an impromptu shrine? That... umm... stuff in the water bottle that certainly isn't water seems suspiciously like it was summoned from beyond to me...

D.F.