davidn

Today, I want to present an experimental short film in which nothing at all happens for 40 minutes. Not really, it's...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=al7-W9gd1h8&hd=1

A boring video about a boring RPG, and if you enjoy it then you are a boring person! Actually I could sort of see that this game had some decent ideas, with the dungeons versus the free-roaming overworld and the potential of having to swap between characters to solve puzzles, but the whole thing feels so clunky as to undermine it.

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From:

crassadon.livejournal.com

You found one of my most memorable memories of that game: the damage enemy creatures deal is impossible to predict! I played maybe a dozen games of Drakken, when it was released--because, hey: those graphics!--and randomly the same enemy might die in two hits; or may kill two of my party members, cripple the third, and cause a game over in the wilderness.

You were just getting to the good part, though, where the game thinks you can remember all the bizarre names, and where they relate to on the map. Oh, you traveled far to Leounsoonle? Yah. . no, you were meant to go to Leounsoonleu. Yeah, it's on the opposite side of the map actually. Yah, you're going to die on the way there.

But hey, those lizard men are kind of hot though :)

From:

kjorteo

You know, I wasn't going to say anything, but they kind of are.

From:

premchaia_pre4

*makes Slightly Naturally Draconically Narcissistic Beaks at what might or might not have been a shout-out of sorts* ^v^

From:

lupineangel.livejournal.com

What a weird game. On the one hand, it has lots of good things going for it - customisable characters, 3d graphics, cool dragonpeople - and on the other, it has incomprehensible near-identical names, no point to anything beyond 'go to the next point on this list', and a complete lack of cohesion. Stuff just... happens. NPCs say words at you with no meaning or context; the plot tries to be deep and engaging but just comes off as random and bizarre. The idea of the constellations suddenly moving until you realise they're really a monster, or the anvilicious shadow getting bigger and bigger as the dragon descends, they're great ideas - it's the closest the game comes to a moment of tension! But they don't build up to anything plot-wise, there's no foreshadowing or reason for them to happen, they're just dropped in out of nowhere as another random encounter, so the impact they do have is wasted. And then you have to contend with HRRRGKKKHA being kidnapped by HHHRGKHAGOR, who is HHGKHRRRK's brother, then HHHGAKKHA is upset and wants you to go to HKKGHA's fortress HHHHRRRKKK...

At least the drawbridge didn't open with "Ahh, weariness! Oh, despair! Ohh, the bitter pill of self-delusion!".

D.F.

From:

crassadon.livejournal.com

don't forget about how the castle guards still attack you after the prince has considered you his helpful ally! :D

From:

premchaia_pre4

Oh, and the element symbols are the Hellenic ones that are sort of standard in the history of Western alchemy. So that's one way to know.

From:

davidn

You know, I was beginning to think so too for a couple of them, but it's possible I was just going insane by then - it's nice to agree rather than your usual attraction to things with more eyes than teeth!

From:

davidn

Oh...! Well... at least there's some sort of reason for the symbols being what they are, although I'm unsure of how many 8-12 year old Nintendo Power readers would have been familiar with them.

From:

davidn

In Knightmare, having to deal with the world's most depressed drawbridge was at least something it was obvious you had to do! Having to UNLOCK a drawbridge that doesn't actually lock... you might as well give me free reign of every verb possible and make the solution to QUANTIFY it.

The whole game just feels... nonsensical, with nothing really tying any plot point or line of dialogue to the next. I've since been told that the dragons falling out of the sky on the unexplained disco lights like anvils are meant to kill you, but due to a bug they give you directions instead and nobody noticed.

And the absurdly guttural place names remind me of the Gelf language from Red Dwarf (Ek-ekhh-ekh-egkh-ek-ek-ek) - or perhaps they're just in Wales.

From:

davidn

Yes, it was clear to me by then that I was never going to be able to navigate the game! Even when there was only one castle to deal with it was very hard to tell where you were meant to be doing at any point.

From:

pookatimes.livejournal.com

I actually have that game, as in I genuinely bought the cartridge and played it on an actual SNES. In fact, the cartridge is in my room as I type this.

You got much further than I did, mostly because you did things like equipping and using magic and armour - none of which I knew how to do because I didn't know how.

I barely got past the first ANAK most times; I did eventually get to the snowy land, but didn't end up much further than that. I'd've had many a problem with the clue-less puzzles had I gotten that far; my biggest problem, however, was with the star monsters. Your characters seemed to defeat them easily. Every time I encountered one, my team all died very quickly - I did wonder if the game developers added them in to make the game actually unwinnable.

So, yeah, poor game, badly executed with an awful combat system. Funny, but for all the wrong reasons. I do like the music, though.

From:

kjorteo

Looking at some guides now, I'm beginning to wonder if Sierra had a hand in making this.

When you're done in the castle, leave and turn west until you see a pathway. Although you were told Hordkha's castle is to the east, you'll actually want to go west to reach it because a glowing road patrolled by the Dragon Gods divides the middle of the Earth Area, and while it can be passed with some trickery, it's much easier to do this the "correct" way.

Anyway, start walking along the western path and follow it all the way to the end, fighting enemies and talking to wandering travelers along the way. When you reach the end where you can see the edge of the ocean, turn north and keep going until you see four arrows on the ground. Step in the middle of the arrows and your party will be magically transported to the opposite end of the map.

When you arrive at the other transporter, turn around and head south until you reach an intersection. Turn west and follow the path all the way to the end. You'll find another castle that looks identical to Hordkhen's.

(Bolding emphasis mine)

Honestly, that is ... that's even worse than the UNLOCK thing.

Also, I'm just going to leave the Drakkhen Oddities page here. Note how this page is at least 50% "this appears to be a clue to something but I have no idea what it could mean" trivia from someone who mastered the game thoroughly enough to have bothered running a partially-complete shrine page for it.

(Oh, but the Monsters subsection is worth a read, too, partly because of the befuddled commentary from someone who obviously doesn't understand half of what he's fighting any better than you do, and partly because it has a naked version of the lizardman we all agree is cute.)

From:

kjorteo

Hey, now, I said I liked that thing despite the abundance of eyes (which even I think is a bit creepy)!

If you were going to make fun of my questionable attractions, you should have targeted my weakness to terrifying blade monsters. ;)

Edited Date: 2014-09-01 10:38 pm (UTC)

From:

davidn

I was hugely confused when I was asked to cover this game, because everyone seemed to have owned it growing up and I just couldn't see why it had been so popular! It turns out that people wanted to share the sense of bafflement that the game gives you for the first time. When I uploaded the video I was worried that I wouldn't have covered enough of the game and made a special effort to get somewhere, but it turns out that I actually got further than many people ever did!

I ran away from the star monsters a couple of times, but I really was surprised when my party members were able to defeat one. It must have been the opposite end of the luck scale that led to them being eaten by a giant spider before the tutorial had started.

From:

davidn

What?! And that's for the first obstacle - the line of glowing arrows placed randomly across the map - which I somehow just passed through twice without being interrupted and then at no other times? The game just makes no sense at any point. I hadn't realized that that key had just appeared on the table after I'd defeated the lizard, either.

This is going to make some good reading material, especially with the Oddities section - I can already tell that's going to go on for pages.

From:

raptorianone.livejournal.com

Oho? What are your thoughts on Chryssalids, then?

From:

crassadon.livejournal.com

Ah, finally, David agrees with us liking strange creatures shown in low resolution! . . How strange.

From:

crassadon.livejournal.com

This was a SNES game??!!?

. . .no, no of course it is. The NES can't do 3D graphics of that, caliber. Somehow these graphics look so bad now, that when I watched the video I thought "Huh. . I remembered playing this on a SNES. ."

I also found most of my games ended before getting to the first ANAK. It's quite likely that one or more party members will die against the first enemy. If that happens, it's much more likely that at least one will die against the second encounter. If that happens, then you're not likely to be able to heal your team back up. Once you've gained even just two levels, it's much easier to survive. . . not that anyone truely survives Drakken. . Drakkhen. Drake hen?! @_@

I was also terrified of the star monsters, and found it unbelievable that David could ever get any of them.

From:

kjorteo

On what, now? *Googles* ... Oh.

Hmm. It needs to be at least somewhat humanoid to work! I'm a furry, not a ... what is that, that looks like some sort of attack robot from the waist down. Yeah, I'm going to go with Chryssalids aren't sexy for the same reason Omega isn't sexy. Not that they're revolting or anything, mind you, there's just ... nothing of interest there.

You know, they are kind of not bad from the waist up, though. Maybe swap out the Protoss Dragoon blade-stilts for some actual legs and feet (:3) and you might have something, there.

From:

kjorteo

You know, SNES Shadowrun had a very similarly unfriendly beginning, with an element of "If you can actually survive a new game long enough to make it to your apartment and rest and save, you'll be all right from there ... but good luck with that." The only difference is that Shadowrun is actually a really great game, one of my favorites from growing up even, while Drakkhen ... isn't.

From:

kjorteo

Now, now. I don't think your impression of the Drakkhen names is quite fair. You make all the names in that game sound like someone is having a fatal heart attack, when the truth is more like they sound like someone is choking to death.